What is Burnout? A Personal Journey Thru the Fog

“Burnout isn’t a weakness. It’s your body waving the red flag your brain keeps ignoring.”

Ah, burnout—my own personal nemesis.

This devil has sat on my shoulder many days, whispering the most devious, destructive thoughts in my ear. Things like:

“You need this to be perfect.”

“You have to be number one.”

“What if it’s not good enough… what will people think?”

At first, these questions felt like fleeting thoughts—just noise in the background. But over time, they started to stick around. As my stress built and my coping skills faded, those whispers became my internal soundtrack. I spiraled into physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion.

Behind the accolades for my work and the big smiles I gave my coworkers were growing bouts of anxiety and debilitating migraines. I started avoiding social gatherings, lying to my family, and basically hiding in my home—telling myself everything would be okay if I could just get some good sleep over the weekend.

Most people who glance at my resume say it’s impressive. I’ve leveled up every two years, taken risks, relocated for new opportunities. I’ve heard things like:

“Kat, you’re so fearless! I wish I could change jobs and explore the world like you do!”

And I won’t lie—I loved hearing that. It felt amazing to be admired for my wanderlust. As a first-generation Black woman, I was doing things that once would’ve been denied to someone like me. And honestly, for many people—regardless of background—things like that still feel out of reach, thanks to the weight of mindset, fear, and systemic limitations.

Looking back now, though, there were two truths behind my career moves:

1. I really do love exploring the world. I can't imagine staying in one place when there are 193 countries to experience.

2. I was also running—from stress, burnout, and the weight of constantly proving myself.

There are more jobs I’ve left off my resume than I’ve kept on. I’ve had enough roles that I can cherry-pick what to show (unless it’s a federal background check—then yes, I get some interesting side-eyes at my 9-page resume… ha). Eventually, I learned to seek out project-based or grant-funded work with built-in end dates. That way, I didn’t have to keep explaining “why I left.” The job ended. Simple. I could survive toxic environments because there was a countdown. Or so I thought...

“You were never meant to prove your worth through exhaustion.”

Burnout doesn’t always look like collapse. Sometimes, it looks like success on paper and survival in real life. I wasn’t lazy or weak—I was over-functioning. Smiling through stress. Powering through migraines. Being the go-to person for everyone except myself. And here’s the part people don’t talk about: Burnout doesn’t just drain your energy—it starts to warp your identity. You forget what rest feels like. You measure your worth by your productivity. You convince yourself that “this is just how life is now.”

But it’s not.

What I’ve seen in myself, and in so many of my clients, is that burnout often shows up wearing a mask. It looks like:

• Perfectionism

• People-pleasing

• Saying “yes” when your soul is screaming “no”

• Staying quiet in toxic spaces to “keep the peace”

You’re not broken—you’ve just been operating in a system that rewards burnout and punishes boundaries.

“Burnout isn’t a weakness. It’s your body waving the red flag your brain keeps ignoring.”

Let’s be real—we’re out here doing the most just to keep from falling apart. But some of the ways we try to “cope” with burnout are actually making it worse. Let me know if any of these sound familiar?

- Saying “yes” to one more thing because “I don’t want to let anyone down”

- Telling yourself you just need better time management—as if a planner can fix a nervous system stuck in survival mode

- Calling it a ‘rough patch’ even though you haven’t felt rested in years

- Ghosting your group chat because you don’t have the energy to explain why you’re not okay

- Convincing yourself that a weekend nap or vacation will fix everything, when deep down you know… it won’t

Here’s what I see people doing when burnout creeps in:

• Trying to “self-care” your way out of a systemic problem (No bath bomb is strong enough to fix a toxic boss.)

• Telling yourself it’ll get better once XYZ project is done (Spoiler: there’s always another project.)

• Overcompensating by doing more because you’re scared of being seen as lazy or ungrateful

• Hiding how bad it is because “other people have it worse” (you veterans/military folks got this bad - hold overs from active duty training)

• Scrolling in bed for hours, calling it “rest,” but really just avoiding everything
  

Let’s not even get into the hustle culture lies like:
“Just wake up earlier.”
“You need better time management.”
“This is just adulthood.”

Nope… That’s what burnout looks like.

We’ve normalized running on fumes. We call it grit. We call it adulting. But it’s actually exhaustion with a resume.

“You’re not lazy. You’re exhausted—and no one taught you how to stop.”

Here’s what I want you to hear—especially if you’re in the thick of it:

Burnout is not a personal failure. It’s a physiological response to chronic stress and unmet needs.

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re not weak.

You’re tired. And you need tools, not shame.

So here’s what’s helped me (and what I walk my clients through):

1. Name What’s Actually Happening
Stop calling it a “funk” or “just stress.” Say it: This is burnout. That alone can shift the shame into clarity.

2. Create Micro-Rest Moments
I’m not talking about a spa day (though, go off if that’s your thing). I mean 5 minutes with your phone on silent. A walk around the block. Breathing before your next meeting. Start small—you don’t need to earn rest.

3. Check Your Coping Skills
Ask: Who/What am I turning to when I’m overwhelmed? Is it food, scrolling, overworking, or silence? Or is it someone who reminds me I don’t have to do it all?

4. Rethink Boundaries as Self-Trust
Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re self-respect in action. Try this: Instead of saying yes because you feel guilty, ask, “What would saying no protect?”

5. Give Yourself Permission to Pivot
Whether it’s a job, a role, or a relationship—if it’s draining your life force, you are allowed to change course. Period.

“This isn’t just stress. This is burnout. And it deserves more than a nap.”

Here’s the truth I wish someone told me years ago:

Burnout doesn’t mean you’re not capable—it means you’ve been carrying more than anyone should, for longer than anyone could.

Burnout doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your boundaries, your nervous system, and your spirit have been pushed past their limits.
And if you’ve made it this far in the post, then you already know—something has to change.

So here’s your truth bomb:

1. You don’t need to earn rest.

2. You’re allowed to take up space.

3. You are not here to prove your worth through exhaustion.

“Burnout doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’ve been too strong for too long.”

If this felt like I pulled it from your journal—or your 3 AM thoughts—I’d love to hear your story.

Send me a message, forward this to a friend, or just breathe a little deeper today knowing: You’re not alone, and you’re not stuck.

This is exactly what we unpack in burnout recovery coaching, one truth-telling session at a time.